Untitled Drivel - Part I

I did not love until my dying breath.

I keep on loving still.

I did not die before my time.

I never die until--

Cannot see the forest for the trees.

Too caught up in catching flowers.

I have not seen the other seas:

The one inside your breast held my sunburst heart.

I did not care for home cooked meals,

Til one was made for me.

I couldn’t see my sickness.

Till, at long long last, I healed.

Worry I write too little.

Worry I say too much.

I have no rhyme or reason

Because I never studied such.

Mother told me “Go to school”

She never told me to learn

I went to all my classes as a rule

And never went outside though I yearned.

My lessons are the scars I keep

Inside the jar that is my heart

My sentences are never full

Having never been allowed to start.

I am comfortable with silence

Because I was told my voice is _________ (horror)

My love is boundless

Hoping I might die less

I strap my loves to my emaciated chest

In the hopes that they won’t leave

Before the timer counts to dying

In this warm and fuzzy breast.

I have never been told I love you first

I have never been attractive

I have never been the one beloved

I have never been non-radioactive.